500 Startups Announces New Accelerator Class, Immediately Destroys Class Dignity by Forcing Them to Release Terrible ‘Thrift Shop’ Parody


500 Startups announced their latest Accelerator class of 28 companies today, as well as releasing a painfully-late-to-the-party “Thrift Shop” parody music video featuring such lines as, “Rolling in, with my team, creating products that will be the future/But all I care is making my investors green.”

You guys really disrupted that song, alright…

With more than 70% international companies, ranging from Brazil to Ghana to Ukraine, the Accelerator program will begin in mid-April and culminate in Demo Days in NYC and Mountain View around mid-July, according to TechCrunch. Ever the techno-democrat, Dave McClure & Company chose this year’s group entirely through applications posted to AngelList.

Check out TechCrunch’s summary of the companies below. We’ve added some of our own annotations as well.

  • AppSocially – Make your app’s Viral Loop awesome with an API that lets you track activity and conversion – allowing you to take action using customer data.
  • BinPress – We increase adoption of open source in SMBs and enterprises.
  • BoxC – We make buying directly from sellers in China as fast and safe as buying from Amazon. (BoxC is GOOD with a-calculation).
  • Credii – We arm businesses with all the intelligence they need to make smart software and service choices.
  • Dakwak – Effortless website translation technology.
  • Dropifi – An intelligent replacement for mailtos and dumb contact forms. It makes customer support more effective, increases lead generation and generates valuable business insights. (Because if there’s one thing I hate, its contact forms! Jeez! Get those things outta my face, bro!)
  • Feast – The online cooking school for the common man. It offers simple cooking guides that teach impressive techniques and recipes with an online community where you can ask questions and get feedback as you cook. (Because there isn’t nearly enough food-media online)
  • Floqq – Makes it easy for anyone anywhere to learn the skills they need.
  • Flyer – We empower commercial real estate agencies to create beautiful property flyers online.
  • Geekatoo – We offer local and onsite tech support at a great value. Customers receive competing bids on tech support needs from verified providers.
  • GreenGar – Seamless realtime collaboration on mobile devices. We’re building a platform that enables apps to intuitively connect people together.
  • InstaGIS – Geographic information system that allows retail stores to target their audiences.
  • KiteReaders – Publishing platform for publishers & authors to create, distribute, and market their children’s picture books for iBooks, Kindle, and Nook.
  • Koemei – Algorithmic transcription of videos for search and accessibility, helping education and large enterprises gain value from their video investments.
  • Mayvenn – Empowers the 95 percent of African American salons that do not retail products. Our mobile commerce solution eliminates a salons inventory cost and opens a new revenue stream for their business.
  • PinMyPet – Social-based software for monitoring and improving the experience between pets and owners. It works with powerful, small and low-cost hardware for realtime health and location detection. (Look, Sparky, you’re going to become a Platform-as-a-Service!)
  • POPAPP – App to fast sketch app prototypes.
  • PriceBaba – PriceBaba is a product (re)search engine that lets you shop in your vicinity.
  • Reesio – Turns the real estate transaction process into one beautiful flow for agents, clients, and third parties. (Notoriously-emotional real estate agents have been known to cry at the sheer beauty of deal flows…)
  • School Admissions – Making school admissions and education tension-free. Disrupting the process of choosing the right school for your child and parents. (Because you simply CAN’T use the public school down the street…oh my no, dear *sips wine*)
  • Seat 14A – A complete and affordable ensemble for the discerning man every week.
  • SeMeAntoja – We empower restaurants to accept orders online. (But what do you do when the restaurants become drunk with the power you give them?)
  • Sverve – Sverve is a self-service influencer marketing platform for small businesses. We connect small businesses with female social media influencers to promote their products and services on the social web.
  • Tamatem – Tamatem is a mobile gaming development studio and publisher focused on creating culturally relevant games for the huge unaddressed Arabic gaming market.
  • TRDATA – We are the Bloomberg for emerging markets. We collect accurate real-time market information from remote places from scattered and illiquid markets. (What exactly constitutes ‘scattered and illiquid?’ Like the cigarette-stalls outside my apartment in India? Or the sewage-selling business down the street?)
  • Tushky – Self-service online platform to monetize free time by offering interesting activities.
  • WHILL – Next generation of personal mobility for wheelchair users and the elderly. (Ah….I got nothin’…)